End of Semester Desperation

So yesterday I'm in the line at the grocery store, talking to my mom on the phone, purchasing my NyQuil, a magazine, and a bunch of bananas. And I can't help but noticing the guy in front of me keeps looking back at me, smiling, and pointing at my stuff. I'm thinking he must be annoyed that I haven't put down the little bar that separates his groceries from my groceries. I get nervous, hang up my phone, put the little bar down and I say, in my froggy bronchitis voice (yes, it seems to strike me at finals week every semester)"Sorry, you probably don't really want to pay for my NyQuil."

He responds, "Hey, I'd be happy to buy you some NyQuil...I was just thinking that there are a lot better ways to self-medicate."

Then I notice that he is buying nothing but beer, and, still nervous, I respond, "Yes, that's probably true..." You have to realize I have not flirted, even harmlessly, with a single guy since I started dating my husband back in 2001, so I'm seriously lacking in flirtatious skills.

At this point, you must prepare yourself for one of the worst pick-up lines I have heard in my time on the planet...

He says, "You sound beyond the possibility of being helped by NyQuil. Maybe you just need someone to come over and take care of you for a while..."

My first thought, after the initial disbelief at the lameness of what he has just said, is, "Idiot! Can't you see I'm wearing a...a...crap, I'm not wearing my wedding ring." I mean this guy was cute, but whatever happened to subtle flirting? Feeling stupid for both the guy and myself, (I mean, how could he possibly know that I'm married and buying bananas not for myself but for my toddler's breakfast) I smile and start nervously thumping my fingers on the counter in front of me, relieved that he has to turn his attention to the cashier to pay for his beer. She is apparently his friend, and they get into a conversation about how having a USU card can save you 5% at Smith's Marketplace, and whether or not he would like to come hang out at her end of semester Rocky marathon, which he declines, explaining, after glancing back to see if I'm paying attention to him, that he may have other plans for the night.....

When he starts loitering at the end of the counter while I pay for my groceries, I start to panick. Its not like I can say, "Hey, stop flirting with me, I'm married." Because what if he wasn't flirting, but just being friendly? Or worse, just talking just to be talking?

I start to leave, and he says, "Hey, you're sick, I can carry that for you if you want." What? My 2 pounds of bananas and my Nyquil? Do I look like that feeble? Am I going to die?

I thank him and tell him, "No, that's ok, I think I can fend for myself. . . .Well, See ya...."

The funniest part to me about this story is that I looked like complete crap because I had pulled an all nighter the night before. There I am, with no makeup, in yoga pants and my USU sweatshirt, my hair falling out of a ponytail, red eyes, in all my full finals week glory.

Do you think maybe college guys just get desperate for action at the end of the semester?

Ryan, when I told him this story when I got home, laughed, but seemed oddly proud.